Croquembouche, The beginning

So here we are, gang. Starting off the beginning of a blog.

What do I hope to talk about, you ask? Oh you didn't, well I'll tell you anyway (deal with it).

 I happen to be a person who likes the nerdier quality of life, and also to bake. Here I'll show you what I eat, my food musings, hopefully how I bake it, and some other random items that are meant to amuse.

To start off, I'm going to describe something that I have never,ever baked: croquembouche.

By God that is nomnomable. 

 This is a lofty french pastry tower. It consists of flavored (chocolate, hazelnut, vanilla, pistachio) cream filled into round puffs of pastry. They're then stacked in a high tower (the photo is an extremely small one), and then wrapped in spun sugar (i.e. Caramel...car-amel...care-amel....quarmel). 

I have tried to make puff pastries, but filling it with cream has been my disaster. I don't have the tools, or patience. Maybe in the future?

 Regardless, this is a grand dish. The French bakers particularly love to use it for when they have weddings, baptisms, etc. It is so interesting (as an American) to compare it to American pastries. It definitely shows a culture shock. American pastries (such as cakes, rice krispie treats, cookies) are fast, easy , and sugary sweet. This tower is disgustingly messy. Usually you dip these balls of goodness into chocolate, or roll it into coconut, powdered sugar, whatever, before double dipping into the spun caramel sugar. But it is completely balanced out with the blandness of the flour based poof (puff) pastry. That's the delicate nature of this dish.

 Now, it wouldn't be safe to compare this beaut to the traditional Wedding Cake. However, turns out I do quite like the danger.  

Plant Branch + Sugar = Bakery Magic?

  This guy, also towering, also tall, also. adored, also really freaking awesome to eat. But, nothing mixes. The layers are clear. 

Fondant.

Icing.

Cake.

BOOM. Got that cake. In the belly. 

  Wedding Cakes? Always personalized. I can see bridezillas screaming "MORE FLOWERS", and all that does is make me think of that movie Stranger than Fiction where Will Ferrell brings the girl.... (wait for it)...

flours (go ahead, sigh dreamily). But, they're always adored with flowers, or the bride and groom, or lately birds have been a trend. I guess having some quail makes people think of weddings?

  Croquemboche? Well first off, that's way more fun to say. It'll get you the ladies, trust me. Just say "croquemboche", then watch the dreamy glaze their eyes mold into. And, it is a great interface to make it specifically "yours", but not like the wedding cake. Think about. How many French shows are there showing people making croquemboches into shapes/blowing up/people? Is this what the Wedding Cake is known for around the world? Something to be molded into for our personal needs? Another source for capitalist adventures to ruin American People's values? 

Whoa whoa whoa whoa, come back. Come back. 

Alright, maybe not so much political thinking and more about drooling? Alright I'll focus on that. My deepest apologies.  I'm still figuring this out. 

Either way, both dishes bring deliciousness back into the world. Which is better? No one knows (except Chuck Norris). 

Alright, broseph, let's just let the puppy eat the cake.

NO BODY MOVE. I got this.

Still working out the kinks. We'll get into blogging time soon enough.